Last time, I started the discussion on the role of fathers in special needs parenting. I said that the father needs to accept the child’s medical condition and also protect his family from negativity. Accepting the child’s medical condition is not synonymous with not having faith in the healing of your child.
As a father of a special needs child and a person of faith, you should think in this manner: “My child has been diagnosed with ABZ and I am believing God for her healing. In the meantime, I will love and care for her; protect her, advocate for her and ensure that she lives her best life within my capacity, so help me God.”
The third point in this topic is Provision.
A father of a child with special needs should provide for his special needs child along with his other children. I have seen many cases where the man will pay for the school fees of his other children but refuse to spend any money on his special needs child. I have also seen a man complain that his wife with a special needs child is not earning a salary.
I want to say to the men folk, taking care of a special needs child is a fulltime job. If she decides to work, that is extra, celebrate her. I have seen women fall into depression or fall sick and die. In the past three months, we have buried two special needs mums who died from sickness. Sickness that can be traced to stress. Apart from the physical stress (indeed, there is a lot of physical stress) there is the mental stress of caring for a special needs child. In most cases the woman is the one that will physically care for the child, take the child for therapy, go for medical visits, look for a school, deal with the stares of strangers, answer questions from relatives, friends, neighbours, etc. This woman needs a break.
Some women are not able to combine that and have the right mind to get a job. If she can, celebrate her; if she can’t, let her breathe.
Gradually, encourage her to start a business from home.
On the flip side, if the man is a low-income earner and the woman has a lucrative job that can conveniently cater for the family then the man should take up more responsibility in caring for the special needs child. Remember, as a family, you are on the same team, working for a common goal.
I understand that each family has its peculiarities, however, the point here is that the father should provide for his special needs child as he would provide for his other kids. Secondly, he should provide and support his wife financially until she is able to do so.
I can hear you say, but the man has struggles too. Yes, I will get to that point but not today.
About The Author
