Poser of the Day: The stupidity of craving to be another human being.
Introduction: As one of the best years of my 53 winds down, I can tell you for sure that I am elated to have you back on this ON-AIR & ONLINE minds-meeting rendezvous. Believe me, I have no words to describe the feeling. I trust that you feel the same way, in spite of and despite the challenges posed by Nigeria. Rise, let’s all raise our voices and hi-five ourselves as we, members of the inner caucus of ASK THE BOSS family, re-congregate for Season Two.
2.0 Last Friday, we crossed the 28 edition mark in this space. That is: in The Pinnacle Times, ASK THE BOSS had been read 28 weeks; a total of seven months. For us at ASK THE BOSS, a season is either 28 editions or 7 months, whichever happens first. Meaning: a new chapter, Season Two, opens today.
3.0 Excellent! Feel free to share your expectations via bhnboss@gmail.com. Also, remember to use the same channel to send me your life worries, those socioemotional cul-de-sacs you need help with. Always attach your portrait or a plea for anonymity if the matter is too private for comfort.
4.0 Once a week, I come out here with one or two such entries complete with an answer. The reason for the public display of a private issue is for others to learn or gain. So far, I can tell you, ASK THE BOSS has been massive: the engagement, the feedback, the love. Please join us, even if you can’t.
5.0 Today, it is Mr Jerry Akpan of Uyo, Akwa Ibom State, who wins pride of place bragging rights. Here he is: ‘The Boss, each time I listen to you on radio, I always dream of being like you. Don’t be offended, please, Sir, how did you start your life? Were you born with a silver spoon’?
6.0 My Take: Many thanks, Jerry Boy, for your sweet-nothingsful sentiments. I think I have fielded a question like this before. Not a problem, I shall serve you a rehashed ‘encore’. Da, I WAS BORN WITH NO SPOON AT ALL.
7.0 Even today, as has been over the last five decades, I work hard, very hard, to achieve what others people celebrate only receive on a platter. Yes, I have had favours, but brother, I sweat all the same. That’s one. Two, STOP LIMITING YOURSELF by only aiming to be like me.
8.0 You lower the bar too low when you aim to be me. You sell yourself short and hamper your sight or vision or both, in the process. You defeat yourself and shame your God too badly when your main target is to be like me or indeed like any other human being. I tell you today: YOU CAN AND SHALL BE BETTER THAN ME or anyone else, in your own time.
9.0 Here’s one proof: I don’t know how old you are, but I am sure you are not yet thirtyish. Now, take a look at your photo (inset). You are actually driving a car, or at worse, posing as a driver. Me, the me you crave to be like, I drove a car for the first time in my life when I was 31.
10.0 Shame, The Boss. Yes, it was all my fault. When I was 11 or 12 or 13, max, I had sworn that I shall never learn how to ride a bicycle or a bike nor to drive a car using someone else’s. Which is why to this day, I don’t know how to ride a bicycle or a motorcycle since I never bought any for myself.
11.0 And I had to wait until 2002, when I bought my first car, to know how to drive. But, look at you. I envy you as I do most youngsters who start(ed) driving once 18. I see them on our roads everyday. I always smile away my puerile stupidity.
12.0 What’s my point? DON’T BE LIKE ME, please. I grew up tying myself down with too many principles. You don’t need such immaculateness in this dirty world.
13.0 No, I am not preaching that you contaminate yourself. No, hell no: I am instead telling you to learn to adapt, knowing full well you live on earth, not in Heaven. Flow with others. Adjust as others do.
14.0 Understand the times, the seasons and the tides. If others stand, please stand. If they run, run. If they are taking money (I repeat, if they are taking, NOT STEALING) money, I beg you in the name of God or all the other things you may believe in, FOLLOW AND TAKE IT.
15.0 I speak from a very deep vault of personal experience(s). The world would leave you behind for daring to be too clean or goody goody. Be like the world, so long as YOU DON’T KILL OR DESTROY OR STEAL. (Hmm, in the lighter mood, I take back that part about stealing because you and I had since been corrected that in Nigeria stealing is not corruption).
16.0 Oh la laaa. See what I mean? Enjoy the enjoyment with them. Never stand and watch!
17.0 What else did you ask me? Oh, HOW I STARTED MY LIFE? Well, perhaps, I have already answered that. However, here’s something you must also know: MY LIFE IS WORK IN PROGRESS.
18.0 I reevaluate and restart my life, every mid year. That’s why you keep seeing a changed or different or rejuvenated me, per time. In fact, if you have been following me, you would have noticed that I have been flashing some traces of the new me since last June. From 1st July, next year, you may expect a more explosive me.
19.0 I no more suffer fools gladly. It’s a choice I won’t have you make. Please walk your own road, Jerry Boy. Learn from others’ mistakes/experiences, but generally CREATE AND FOCUS ON YOUR OWN PATH.
20.0 It is the only sane shorter way YOU CAN EASILY BECOME GOD’S PLAN FOR YOU! And, it is one sure way of making God happy with you. You may emulate others but never crave to be (like) them, because you have no idea the cross(es) they bear. Pray and work to be the you God sent here.Conclusion: There you go, Mr. Jerry Akpan. I hope that helps you. Get up now, on your marks; one, two, three; goooo. See you at the top.
Finally, for those with LIFE AND SUNDRY SOCIAL DILEMMAS, please ASK THE BOSS today either by emailing bhnboss@gmail.com or inboxing www.facebook.com/michaelbushnigeria. Plead anonymity if you seek no trace. And yes, you can send plus THE CHOICE PHOTO you want published with your entry.
God bless Nigeria!
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