Poser of the Day: The guy who ate and cleaned mouth wants validation of his snakishness. Can The Boss help him?
Introduction: Who was it that said the higher one goes, the cooler it becomes? Well, that might be true in geography. It is false in most other sense. For example, in Life, it is the higher you climb the horribly hotter it burns.
2.0 Like now: ASK THE BOSS is on fire. It wasn’t so when it came on stream in 2012. You remember that matters were not this fiery when we set out, right? But!
3.0 We can manage, can’t we? Only with one, though. Here you are. ‘Hello, The Boss, the oracle of our time.
4.0 ‘Here is my story. I had an encounter with a lady a few years ago in Akwa Ibom State when I lost my biological parents. I was still in Secondary School. She was older than me nine years.
5.0 ‘She asked me for friendship. I ignorantly and stupidly agreed to it due to the financial benefits I will derive. At the time, I didn’t know anything or have any idea about sex. All I knew about it was male or female according to a friend and my lesson teacher.
6.0 ‘She promised to change my life which she did. She used her father’s wealth to help me to register for SSCE; to help me to gain admission into higher institution, etc. All this while, she never asked for the private gratification. One day, after I had re-located to Benue state to stay with a friend, she sent me flight ticket to meet her in Lagos.
7.0 ‘I cooked up lies to my friend that I was going to see another friend who was in hospital in Akwa Ibom. When I got to Lagos, she asked me to take an oath that I will never have anything to do with ladies; that if I do, my certificates shall be ‘useless and meaningless’. I asked her why but all she said was ‘because I am very cute and wise’. As an unbeliever then, I willingly obeyed.
8.0 ‘She will later call me using a private number to remind me about the oath. I had since blocked and deleted her number after I gave my life to Christ. A decade after I had been done with my ND, HND and PGD, yet no job to show for my labour. Could it be that oath?
9.0 ‘Does it have any effect in my life? Even with my unwavering commitment in the vineyard of God? What else must I do so that my results would no longer be useless. Thank you, The Boss’!
10.0 My Take: First, you did not plead anonymity but rather Father-Christmasly, I have offered it to you for obvious reasons. I don’t want foolish fearlessness to do what oath has not been able to do. But come, my friend, so you are telling me that you accepted a lady’s friendship proposal only because of the concomitant pecuniary accruals? Sharp guy, you have enjoyed o: free flight tickets, free s*x, free ‘and compulsory’ education, name it.
11.0 Then, by your own account, you became born again (what else?) and have been hiding ‘in the vineyard of God’, fasting and praying that the Big Man upstairs would be bribed by your ‘unwavering commitment’ therein to write off the oath. Let me confess: I find this very funny. I can’t stop laughing. In fact, tears are raining from my eyes
12.0 So, so funny. Oh, my God. But, seriously, my first line answer to you will be: chop alone, die alone. Go and pay your price.
13.0 After all, do you expect nature or me to accept for the lady to lose on all sides? For crying out loud, people should have and show some integrity, born again or not. You cannot take advantage of enjoyment, intentionally; only to turn around and plead unbornagainism. I mean, what do you take us for?
14.0 However, beyond taunting you, I cannot insist on nor can I succeed in the enterprise of casting the first stone. There’s not one human being, dead or alive, who never committed your kind of blunder; one way or another. My point? Your foolishness is hereby written off.
15.0 Hold it though: it is not yet Uhuru. Try this approach: Fast and pray, first. Then, call up the lady. Explain things to her.
16.0 Offer her your apologies. Coax her about how nice she has been to you. Tell her that no matter how much you would have loved to stay on, your new belief system pooh-poohs what you both did. Make peace with her.
17.0 You may consult your pastor before you see her. And especially, afterwards. Be warned: no matter what her reaction is, smile because God has taken over and unlocked your prisons, if any. Man, thou art loosed: go and succeed, in the Name of Jesus.
Conclusion: Really, life is that simple. With knowledge, there is nothing that cannot be undone or forgiven. The Blood fixed it all, well over two millennia ago. Praise the Lord, somebody.
God bless Nigeria!
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