Poser of the Day: ‘The Boss, since the Bible doesn’t exempt any gender from the sin called adultery, why is it that when a man is caught committing adultery by his wife, she will forgive him and stay put; but when a married woman is caught in the act next will be divorce?
Secondly, if both commit the same sin, why does the society shield men and expose women (to face the music alone)’? … Idongesit Ekong
Introduction: Welcome to ASK THE BOSS, dear People of God. This is the Q & A timeout for matters of life. Inbox-share the puzzles that bedevil your life, emotions, finances, relationship, etc. Don’t fail to attach your preferred photo or a plea for anonymity.
2.0 I will then come out here with an answer that should, by His grace, do the trick -for you and others like you. Before we get down to the nitty gritty though, please indulge me. The first of two preliminary off-topic remarks I wish to communicate at this juncture is congratulations to Abasiodiong and me (and indeed Diamondabasi Ama) on the first anniversary today of my fresh start. The second, of course, is condolences to the first family of my home state of Akwa Ibom as First Lady Patience Umo Eno formally goes to rest with her Creator today.
3.0 No word can appropriately describe the untold pain brought by this sudden, colossal loss. A woman who toiled and prayed, long and patiently. A woman who understood and executed her duties as wife and mother (and grandmother) with love and patience. Alas, we are Christians, we cannot and should not mourn like them who have not or know not Christ.
4.0 Mummy Patience might be absent in the flesh with us, right now, but she is present (live!) with the Lord; our Lord, Jesus Christ. That knowledge should beam some light, some bloom, on our gloom. Therefore, instead of wearing long faces, we arise -in the consciousness and spirit of the arise agenda- to stand together with the first family in celebration as they have done. First Lady Patience Umo Eno lived an impactful life for which Akwaibomights and all who encountered her ought to be thankful to God.
5.0 Back to winning ways. Quickly, quickly, here is my take. Dear Ms. Ekong, I note with joy that you write from my maternal LGA, Ibesikpo Asutan of Akwa Ibom state. I have a number of friends over there.
6.0 Please give them my love, would you? Tell them The Boss looks to see them soon. By the way, I hear some good news brewing in your corner. May God see you through and make it successful and subsequently, fruitful, joyful and peaceful.
7.0 As for your entry, I am sure you know it highlights the age-long war of the sexes, and that although couched in heavy feministic undertones, cannot be faulted in any way. It is what it is. Because I am a man doesn’t mean I should come and lie openly in the name of self-defence. I cannot come and kill myself over my gender.
8.0 See, Ma, ours is a patrilineal world. Shamefully, it has always been. It was so even in the days of Jesus. You recall (don’t you?) the adultery-person the mob (that Jesus shamed at the nick of time) wanted to stone to death was a woman, not a man.
9.0 We all know it takes two to tango in that business, yet the man was nowhere nearbeing caught nor being publicly shamed let alone being punished. I guess, the woman committed the so-called adultery all by herself. Apologies, Senator Aloysius Etok, Ph.D. Many years ago, when you wrote the book, clapping with one hand, we didn’t understand; now, we do.
10.0 Just as Nigeria plays hide and seek with Niger Delta over resources and rewards, men can continue flaunting or dwelling in machismo. No amount of preachment can fix this anormaly, methinks. Men are rooted in our ways. You never wish to change what benefits you, or do you?
11.0 Present-day society does nothing new by its gender-biased stance on this and other matters of life. Present-day society simply flows along. I mean, who wants to undo history? It is a crying shame, such mindlessness.
12.0 From the foregoing, I believe it’s sheer waste of time to dwell on a reorientation you know cannot and would not fly. Rather, since at the end it is God’s (not man’s) judgment that would count, our mothers, sisters, wives, daughters, aunts, nieces, girlfriends, female cousins, friends, partners and colleagues should ignore men and our egocentricity. Whatever is going on here on earth should not discourage you. ‘Look up to the hills from whence cometh thine help’!
13.0 Apart from the genderless theme of justice, your entry also speaks, side by side, to the all-forgiving, longsuffering and all-enduring capacities of the human being who’s not a man. I guess it’s a situation of win some, lose some. Not sure any of you would heed, but I believe it is best for women to be content being women and wise enough focusing only on battles they can win. God bless the female person!
14.0 I mean, what’s this battle of gender superiority or supremacy really about? Men might pretend they are in charge but women, children and we know who really are. For instance, the man is said to be the head of the family but it is the woman -the neck- who runs things. Any man who disagrees, please indicate.
15.0 The man might be the leader, but the woman is the manager of both that leader and that leadership. For good measure, an alarming majority of men prefer their mothers to their fathers. Furthermore, no man worth his life takes a major decision sans (first) confiding in a woman (mother or sister or lover or …). And, this last technical knockout: do you know why women are called the weaker vessel?
16.0 Women are said to be weaker vessel because men are weak. Men are the weak vessel. You cannot have weaker except weak exists. If men were that overspecial, we should have been tagged strong or stronger vessel.
17.0 If men were that overspecial, Joseph -one if us- shall have been invited to the caucus meeting where the decision of how and through whom Jesus shall come was taken. Were we? The case against women is hereby dismissed. No man, no woman is more superior.
Conclusion: Dear women, please read the three preceding paragraphs again so you get to understand our plight. We are so strong we are at your mercy. If you think we get away with too much, please forgive us; our burden is too much. I bet you, you don’t and shall never have the balls to carry the load we bear for humanity.
God bless Nigeria!
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