By Kevin Nengi
I just read a very touching story of how a lady left her husband of five years because she was listening to her aunty, and perhaps seeing her friends post beautiful pictures of their single life and “freedom”.
The story goes like this: Aunty married a young man and shortly after they jakpa to the UK. And not long after she started giving birth, and family pressure started coming. The husband was struggling to make ends meet. You know how UK is with expenses- feeding, rent and plenty taxes. So aunty was not satisfied and began nagging her husband. Her aunty and friends were her special advisers telling her “huncle” is lazy, weak, not meeting up and bla bla. After few months she sought for divorce. Husband begged, sobbed, kneeled down, but aunty’s mind was made up. She packed with her two kids and moved in with her aunty adviser. Meanwhile, her aunty was busy dating and trying relationship again. Then one day, her aunty clicked with one guy, and soon marriage was arranged. After two years, her aunty started telling her she was fed up to cater for her and two kids, and shortly after left her to join new hussy. Then a year later rent expired. Viam! her eyes cleared. Already four years has gone, and her husband has moved on with life by leaving UK and had settled in USA with new wife.
So one day , aunty got tired living in welfare acommodation. Her kids had grown to 10 and 8 years and have gone beserk- she could not manage them. So she searched and got contact of a family friend, a pastor whom she called to know whereabout of her husband. The pastor listened to her phone call and then dropped the bomb! ” Your former husband is in the USA married with two kids already. Aunty slumped.” Yes ” said pastor , I heard from Niyi two years ago during his second child dedication, perhaps now he may have added another one.” Aunty sobbed,” It’s not be true. He’s still my husband”. Already her kids have began to run streets in the UK and they were still in welfare accomodation.
Aunty former husband had blocked her line, and resettled after four years of begging. Aunty mums sister has married. Most of aunty’s friend giving her counsel had married and living their life, while our “activist, the fault finder “madam is now living in confusion. Her life is stuck.
Please this is true story, and it has lots of lessons for many of our young married ladies who feel that life is always fast lane affair. Life is deep, complex and that is what many married couples- both men and women should learn.
I know this times or age we are living we have have lots of distractions- relatives, friends, media and a lot of phoney stuffs trying to catch our fancy. The truth is that if only we could give everything time. I’m not saying we should stay in bad marriages like the ones women become punching bags and sex slaves. NO, NO. I mean that we need to know life is in stages. Marriage is worked out.
Please if your having difficulty in your marriage do sit down, think and work it out, as long as the man or woman is not violent or abusing you. Even if the man or woman is lazy, try and find her strong sides and help.
SOME DIVORCE ARE SENSELESS AND STUPID, and it’s only after 10 years later we discover that we have made a mistake. Selah!
Kevin Nengia, Journalist and author of Relationsfipvibe
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