By Kevin Nengia
I recall when I was much younger and in my street there was this lady many men were seeking for her friendship. She refused, but sadly started dating one “Agbero” in the next street. It was such that many men started avoiding her because the Agbero lover will harass and beat you up if he finds out you approached his lady.
The phoney part of the story is that this pretty lady dated this Agbero for several years and ended up not marrying him at the end. Some years later, we learnt that the guy was killed during one of the police raids in Diobu, Port Harcourt ( in Rivers State).
When it comes to dating, women always display strange taste for men. Their choice of men often befuddle admirers and so called nice guys. I have heard stories of women who jilted their lovers because, according to them, “He was too nice”.
Character flaws is what makes dating very thrilling according to research. The way women make their choice is always different from the way men do. Professors of Psychology at the University of West Florida, Peter Jonason observed that women are usually attracted to males who have personality traits referred as “Dark Triad”.
Men with Dark Triad personalities are more likely to have lots of sexual partners, while women who are attracted to them see status and material gains as a plus.
The Dark Triads have a mixture of narcissism, Machiavellianism and psychopathy. They are manipulative yet useful to these women.
Narcissists believe themselves superior to others and seek attention, often to an unhealthy degree.
Those with psychopathic tendencies have little empathy and their behavior is often out of control.
Yet despite all these negative traits Dark Triad men are very successful in attracting women. They are likely to have had more lovers than the average men.
So, why are women drawn to them? The first confirmed reason is their ability to be in Yet despite all these negative traits Dark Triad men are very successful in attracting women. They are likely to have had more lovers than the average men. charge. Independence and leadership in relationship attract women to these men, who end up eating them as wolves. There is another theory that ” we are drawn to to qualities that we lack” says a psychologist. That feeling of wholeness and complete is also another magnet why women flock these characters.” Many women are drawn to self interested , competitive driven men because they can’t bear those qualities themselves,” observed a psychotherapist Jacqui Marson.
A relationship with Dark Triad men is like that of a ” Beauty and the Beast” the strong attraction suddenly falls away when the real character surfaces and then it becomes too late.
Then there is another reason why women are attracted to “Bad Guys” is the false thinking by most women that they can fix or change the bad guys. Such women are on a mission to transform them. Many women think they have redemptive power. A lady said, ,” it’s not the ‘Bad Boy’s that I love, but his potential to become good with my help”. Such women end up being trapped and the relationship becomes more like,” he is a bastard, but I love him”.
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